I have been feeling very nostalgic this past week and what a better place to ramble on about it than the blogosphere.
It all started two weekends ago when I went back home for the wedding of a family friend. The groom was my brother’s first ever friend and I grew up with him and his brothers. They also happen to be our neighbours so I get to see them on a regular basis. Watching someone that you’ve known (literally) forever get married is a very exciting and strange experience. At the reception, his dad showed a photo montage of the bride and groom as children and I couldn’t help but think “I knew him when he looked like that.”
The groom’s younger brother was also my first ever friend. We actually were a mighty trio with another boy, who was also at the wedding. Sitting beside these two at dinner was like going back in time for a few hours and it felt great. We talked about all the stupid and amazing things we did together and tried to imagine what the future has in store for us. The groom’s younger brother and I were sitting outside at one point and he started telling me how seeing his brother get married made him feel very emotional. Disregarding the fact that he was slightly inebriated, we had a long conversation about changes and how we were entering a new phase of our lives.
There are certain events in life that make you realise that your childhood is long gone and that it’s now time to move on to other things, like work and bills but also travels and love. I’ve been struggling with this realisation all week. It’s not the first time that I’ve experienced that overwhelming feeling of “Oh shit I’m an adult” or of “Crap, I’m never going to be living at home with my parents and my siblings ever again,” but the anxiety surrounding these changes doesn’t seem to have receded much overtime. A few posts ago, I talked about the grieving process and I believe that transitioning to adulthood does take a bit of mourning as well. Technically, I’ve been an adult for 4 years now but I still have these moments where I can’t help but think that being a child was the best and I have a feeling these instances will keep occurring in the future. However, nostalgia doesn’t have to be a sad thing; it can also be a way to cherish the past and feel grateful for the memories.
There was a great number of people at this wedding who have shaped my childhood and eventually who I am today. We all have changed in many ways but when we are together, the first word that comes to mind to describe the experience is ‘easy’. Having moved to a different country a few months ago, I’ve met A LOT of new people. The whole process can get exhausting for an introvert like me, and spending time with people who have known me since I was in my mother’s belly has allowed me to relax and be fully myself for a night. I am not saying that I’m faking it in London but I don’t have my dad to have a dance battle to Highway to Hell with or people who have been there through the best and worst times of my life.
This past week, I couldn’t help but think about how amazing this weekend was and how I wish I could have stayed home for three more months. How awesome would it be if we could all live close to each other! To be honest, I’m sure I would go crazy after a couple weeks but the thought brings me a lot of comfort.
To conclude my monologue, I just wanted to say that I am grateful to feel nostalgic; I am grateful that my childhood was an amazing one and I am grateful that I have life-long friends that I can call family. But I am also very grateful for where I am today.
PS: I would have put pictures of the wedding but I’m not sure my friends and family would enjoy to have their faces associated with my word vomit so you’ll have to satisfy yourself with a couple pictures of baby me as a tribute to the adorable (and slightly headwear obsessed) child I was.